Breaking News!!

Our agency told us this morning that they would be surprised if we didn't have a referral by Wednesday!!!  Pray that God would prepare us for whatever child he has for us.  I am a bit nervous because they asked how we would feel if "something off the wall" happened.... like giving us a boy!  I was not prepared for this and was upset.  I am just going to have to trust God- He has to be picking this child!

Please read the post before this one and pray for our friends!

Stay tuned.........................................

Coincidence or God's Grace???

Isaiah 55:8-9 says,

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, says the Lord.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts."

Often things happen in life, that we never understand.   Every once in awhile, things unfold that help us understand prior events.  I believe these are times when God is gracious enough to let us peek at him doing his work.

Last Wednesday evening, very, very, very dear friends (I will call them Jim and Sue) saw the bonds of alcohol slavery squeeze the life out of Sue's brother, Bob.   After a year of being very intentional in Bob's life- allowing him to live in their home, giving him a job and food, taking him to church, giving him love and tough love (allowing him to sit in jail) and any other necessity imaginable, Bob took his own life... in their home.  I am sure you can imagine the devastation.

Late Friday evening, I got a call from Sue.   I was able to tell her what a great sister she had been and to assure her that she had done everything possible for him.  After talking for awhile, because even in a time like this, Sue thinks of others, she asked how I was doing with the adoption loss, etc...  I assured her that most of the time I was fine.  I went on to say, "It really just bothers me when I think about the rest of the travel group that I was supposed to be part of leaving Wednesday.  WEDNESDAY!  Sue, we were supposed to leave Wednesday!"

Wednesday is the day of Bob's viewing and funeral.

Paul (my husband) was asked to do the funeral.  Had we left when we were originally supposed to leave, we would not have been able to be there to help lay her brother to rest.  We would not have been around to love on them, support them, pray for them or share God's word at Bob's funeral. 

I realize there are 100's of other pastors around that could do Bob's funeral.  But, we have a spiritual bond with Bob and Sue that runs deep.  And, they asked Paul.  

God knew we needed to be here.  

We look forward this week to seeing God answering our prayers for our daughter.  We pray that this will be the week we see her precious face for the first time, we hear her name, learn what province she is from, etc....  We would ask that you join us in this prayer.  While we are eagerly waiting this great news, our very dear friends are living their worst nightmare.  This week, they will see the precious face of Sue's brother for the last time.  They will question what they could have done differently, what they could have said, etc...  So, please lift them up!  And, pray for Paul- that God would give him words to say and speak directly through him.

Another LOOONG weekend for The Isaacs

That's me, at the computer, everyday, waiting for information or maybe it's the person I am waiting on in China.

If only I could get skinny like that!  Instead, I think the stress of this whole scenario has caused me to gain 10 pounds... just compounding my problems!  I am not kidding about the 10 pounds.

The big news of the day is that our agency called us!!!  This may not seem like a big deal, but Paul has been relentless about calling them.  Most days, he calls them two times.  On Tuesday and Wednesday of this week, I made him take a hiatus.  He had to swear not to call them.   On Thursday, he caved.  He called twice.  But, TODAY, THEY called us!

Here's the big news:  The reason we haven't heard anything is because the person handling the case has been on a long business trip.

 No, really ???  Why does that not surprise me???  And, how hard would it have been to tell me that in the first place??   I am not sure I really believe it!  It seems like the perfect explanation to buy time.  That person is supposed to be back next week.  (Why do I feel like a tire that is quickly losing all it's air??)

Let me guess, Friday of next week??  Meanwhile, my whole travel group is leaving to go to China to get their babies on Wednesday.  AHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I know I sound  a bit jaded.   As I sit here to write this, it's one of those times I want to hurt someone! (See earlier post for explanation)  I'll settle back into trusting God.  Sunday night, about 8 pm, I will be filled with hope and praying and praying and praying.  Why?  Because our Sunday night is China's Monday morning.  And, barring any Dragon Boat Festival, or Rice Counting Day ( not a real day, in case you are wondering... I made it up!) or any other holiday they think up, the 'powers that be' in China will be starting their work day.  My prayer is that my papers end up on the desk of the right Mr. Wong (made that up too!)  That God will soften his heart and cause us to have favor in his eyes.  Then, Monday morning I will receive a phone call with the name of a precious little girl who needs a mommy!

One can dream.....................

The Dragon Boat Festival

The Dragon Boat Festival??  Sometimes I think it's better not to ask.  I am sure they feel the same way about our President's Day or Martin Luther King Day.  But, since I mentioned it, I feel compelled to tell you about The Dragon Boat Festival.  I compared it to two of our holidays because in China, The Dragon Boat Festival is a vacation day.

This festival falls on the 5th day of the 5th lunar month. Along with Dragon Boat Races, customs on this day include eating zongzi (rice wrapped in leaves) and hanging "fragrant
pouches" of cloth wrapped with colored silk threads.

The festival has its roots in ancient Chinese history. Qu Yuan,
China's first great poet, lived at a time when various parts of
China were at war with each other. Qu Yuan tried to provide advice to
help his government. But, as legend has it, the king did not appreciate
his advice, and with evil men twisting his words and making his
situation worse, Qu Yuan was exiled from his homeland. When his homeland
fell into enemy hands, his despair grew so deep that he threw himself
into the Miluo River (in today's Hunan province of China) on the 5th
day of the 5th lunar month. The people of his village raced to the
river to save him in their dragon boats, but were too late. They later
threw rice in the river as a sacrifice to him. Afraid that the fish
would eat the rice, they began wrapping it in reed leaves and wound silk
threads around the packets before dropping them into the river. Dragon
Boat Races were held each anniversary in commemoration of Qu Yuan.
Today, many cities around the world now hold Dragon Boat Races on nearby
rivers as a fun summer-time event.

You learn something new everyday!  And, if you don't, you should!

I am not sure if their holiday affected us or not, but for the sake of my sanity, I am going to say it did!  It makes me feel better!  Why?  Because today, as it has been for almost a week now, we received no news!  Zero!  Zip!! Zilch!

I am going to take the liberty of telling you about our decision.  It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission, right??

Last Tuesday, after receiving counsel from the CEO of our agency and a lady from our church with lots of experience with adoption (8 adopted children), we have decided to ask for a new referral.  That was an option from 'the powers that be' in China.  Our agency said it could take 1-3 months for the legal system to get the foster parents to return her to the orphanage.  The CEO then told us that that was a conservative estimate.  It would be more like 6-12 months with no guarantee of the outcome.  

We want to provide a home for a child who doesn't have one.  She is obviously loved so much that her 'parents' are willing to defy their communist government to keep her.  It is my hope and prayer,  that if that home is the best place for her, that she would be able to stay.

As hard as it was for us to make that decision, there is another part or us that has a perfect peace.  Before you think too highly of us, you should know that at least once a day, we want to hurt someone... bad!!  It usually happens between 10:30 am and noon.  It's that time frame because if we are going to hear news, that's when we will hear it.  After the anger subsides, we are back to trusting God and being so excited about the little girl he picked out for us before time began.

We were told that our referral would be expedited.  Clearly, expedited for me does not mean the same thing to them.  If it did, we would have a new picture of a beautiful little girl to show you and we would be leaving for China SOON!!

So, please pray, for the sake of our sanity, that it would be the will of the good Lord to resolve this issue.  Pray that the letter we had to write gets into the hands of the right people.  Pray that they would feel compelled to issue this referral soon.  Pray for a lady in the US who is communicating with them on behalf of us and our agency.  (She is Chinese and knows the system and the right approach.)

I'll let you know!!!

I think we are leaving the desert

 I feel like over the last two weeks we have been left in the desert.   Everyone else is moving on and we are at a standstill.  I realize it has only been 14 days, but when God places a call on your life,  life feels incomplete without being able to get to what he has called  you to.  I am imagine wondering in the desert would be really wearisome very quickly.  Some would even question whether or not we could even really call this 'the desert'.   The Israelites were in the desert for 40 years.  But, it's my blog and I can call the last 2 weeks or 2 years whatever I want to call them!!:-)  Since this whole process began 2 1/2 years ago, so I am sure one could understand the desert analogy.  By the way, I'd much rather talking about dessert!  Why are the spellings to close to one another.... they are vastly different???!!

Anyway,

 
Since last week, we have spent much time in prayer over this situation and over this child.  We have fasted.  We have called on others to pray for us.  We have asked for and received counsel.  

The Lord has been teaching me the last year the value of speaking his would out loud.  If you think about it, it makes perfect sense.  The Bible talks about our battle not being against flesh and blood but against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms (Ephesians 6:12).  God tells us that our only offensive weapon is His word (Ephesians 6:17 and Hebrews 4:12).  When Jesus was tempted in the desert for 40 days, he used scripture to fight Satan.  Remember Jesus always says, "It is written....."  I don't believe Satan can read our minds.  So, it would stand to reason that when we are faced with battles, we are to fight the same way.  As Christians, shouldn't we emulate the life of Christ??

So, Sunday night I looked up verses on spiritual warfare and the authority of the believer.  Here are some examples.

Psalm 6:8-10

 Away from me, all you who do evil,
for the Lord has heard my weeping.
The Lord has heard my cry for mercy;
the Lord accepts my prayer.
All my enemies will be ashamed and dismayed;
they will turn back in sudden disgrace.

Matthew 18:18 - "Surely I [Jesus] say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven"

 I then read and prayed those verses out loud.  From here, I have had to leave the situation in God's hands.

Today, I believe it became very clear what we are to do.  After "trying on the decision" (something our agency suggested we do) (how great is it that we have believers working at our agency giving us advice?) and after speaking with the executive director/CEO of our agency, we made a decision and we are at perfect peace

Right now, I do not feel at liberty to speak freely about the decision.  However, I don't think it will be long before I can share.  We had some questions so they were sending those questions to the 'powers that be' in China.  We are anticipating some answers tomorrow.  At that time, I will ask what I can share.

Until then, please continue to pray for us.  I think that is the reason we can sit here tonight in peace.

The Maker of heaven and earth

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

That's about sums it up!!  Psalm 121:1-2

If you have been following along, I had to take a couple of post off at the suggestion of my agency.  They did not read it, but made some suggestions that made my think I should remove the last two.  

If you have missed reading this last couple of days, our little girl has a foster family that loves her very much.  They are having a very, very difficult time giving her to the orphanage so that we can be granted travel approval to come get her.  This has left our agency and many others in unchartered waters.  This is unheard of in China and has never happened before.  We are so thankful that she is and has been loved so dearly, but we love her too.  We are lifting our eyes to the maker of heaven and earth and asking Him to do His will.

I am not going to be able to give many details right now about what it happening, but I will that the situation is being worked on...

I have moments when I get really upset and want to leave with the rest of the group I was supposed to travel with.... in 19 days!!!  There are times when I can't think about the possibility of not having this little girl, because in my heart she is mine and love grows for her more each day.  But, then there are other times I have complete peace.  I know God always has my best interest at heart.  He will do whatever is right for our family.  I am positive it involves a little Chinese girl who needs a mom and dad and sisters and a brother.

But, until I have clarity from the Lord, the little girl that you see when you scroll down the page is mine.  Please pray that for us- that we would have clarity.  That God would grant us peace and wisdom.  And, without a doubt, we would know 100% what we are supposed to do.  I would love to read your thoughts and comments if you have any.

The Yellow Chick

That's me... the yellow chick... the one left behind.  Here's the email I received from my agency this morning. (sigh)

Hi, April! 
I was so sorry to hear you did not get your TA last week--how difficult
it must have been to hear so many families got theirs and you did not. I
don't know why yours didn't come (or the other family's); I have not yet
had a chance to read the correspondence from last week from our Beijing office to see if there was anything stated in that information (this is how we receive updated information on children, etc.) I will do that
today and let you know if there is any information listed there or not.
If not, I will certainly ask today if they can find out anything. It
often happens that some families in a group do not get theirs when
others do; that is unfortunately not uncommon.
Yes, I can relate to what you are saying about the spiritual end; I am
sorry you have had other things going on in your life at the same time.
I have no idea when your TA will arrive, but again, will most certainly
check today and get back with you as soon as possible. Again, I will
let you know if last week's correspondence contained any information about
your situation. I am so sorry, April! I will be in touch asap!

On a different note, I have often learned the hard way that God's timing is always best.  I think I have said this before, but with so many years of walking with the Lord, you would think I could quit reminding myself of this fact.  I believe life is boot camp.  It is a test and a preparation for the "real" life that follows this one.  When things don't go the way I think they are going to go or the way that I want them to go, I tend to let my circumstance rule my emotions.  I'd probably not have this test so often if I wouldn't shut down and feel sorry for myself in situations like this one.  I really believe God sees the big picture.  He loves me and sees things that I can't see. 

A couple of years ago, there was an issue with a friend.  The friendship became weird and I felt really hurt and rejected.  It bothered me for a full year.  I prayed and prayed and prayed about it.  I asked God to restore the friendship, etc...  After awhile, I knew that it was not going to happen.  I also had a feeling one day I was going to understand.  Well, at the end of that torturous year, events unfolded that explained everything.  Never could I have imagined in my wildest dreams what unfolded and I wouldn't wish the details on my worst enemy.  After I had some time to process the situation, I will never forget the love that I felt envelop me from God.  The whole time He was trying to protect me.  If God had answered my prayer the way that I prayed it, I would have been immersed in a situation that would have been infinitely more painful.  See, God can see the big picture.  He loved me enough not to give me what I had asked.  I will always take God's plans over mine.

So, now that I have had some time to get my thoughts down, I like being the yellow chick.  Besides, the yellow chick is much cuter!!:-)