Mama Hen and her chicks

I'd like to think I would have something to post by now, like a PICTURE... of our baby!! But, I got nothing! No new news!

So, back to the story, back to how we got where we are today. (If you are reading for the first time, scroll down and read the very first entry. The entries are listed newest to oldest.)

After the Steven Curtis Chapman concert, my emotions went from knowing God could provide to never being able to afford an adoption. So, I did nothing to move toward adoption.

UNTIL, Paul came home one day and told me there was an informational meeting with Families Thru International Adoption (FTIA) and that we were going! He didn't ask me if I wanted to go, he told me I was going! Sheesh! Bossy! This occured at the end of Nov 2005.

Here is where I need to share my sinful, prideful side. If it's not my idea, then I don't go! And if I do go, I go kicking and screaming. The really bad part is that it is usually only where Paul is concerned! I am not sure why I am like this with him. I'd like to think I am a very teachable person. "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisors they succeed"- one of my life verses (Proverbs). I ask the advise of many before making most decisions, so I highly value the opinions of others who I know walk with the Lord. The ironic part is I don't know of many other people who's walk is as true as Paul's. He is the real deal. The things he teaches others and talks about, he lives himself. He has my highest respect and I love him dearly. Most of the time, I don't even realize I am balking at his ideas, but here is the classic example. One time Paul was reading Donald Miller books and really enjoying them. He kept telling me that I should read them, he said I would really like them too. I was like, "yeah, yeah, yeah." Then Donald Miller came to Cedarville to speak. He tried very hard to get me to go. I didn't even try to find a babysitter. But, then my good friend Donna and I were talking one day, and she was telling me how much she loved Donald Miller and his books. So, the next day, since she said it, I started the first book and ended up reading all four of his books in one week!! Isn't that awful??

So, Paul arranges for his parents to watch the kids while we go to the meeting in Cincinnati. I rolled my eyes. The day we were to go, the weather men were calling for bad weather, (and you know weather men are always right) and a tornado watch was issued. The skies were dark and the wind blowing forcefully. I tried to tell him that we shouldn't go in this weather. If I stay home and sit on my little chicks, everything will be fine. He didn't listen.

At the meeting, they talked about every detail of the process. But, during one section of the talk, my ears perked up because they mentioned something about having an infectious disease in an infectious stage and not being able to adopt. The end of the line I thought. So, after the meeting, which included parents and the adorable children they just adopted, I asked one of the agency employees about Paul and his Hepatitus C. (In case you don't know this story, Paul had aplastic anemia when he was 12. He had a 3% chance to live. He was given 90 gallons of blood transfusions which is where he contracted the Hep C.) Anyway, she said she thought it would be fine because it is very difficult to pass, etc...

So, I enjoyed the meeting but I didn't leave excited about adopting. I saw the price tag,
again!! And, since I think I have failed to mention this before, I was also terrified of traveling half -way across the world to China. Imagine that, me afraid! If you know me, my idea of adventure is moving one county away from the county I spent my whole life in, but only for 4 years while Paul worked at Cedarville University, then we gotta go back to that other county. My mind always goes to the worst case scenario. I was always envisioning myself in China being tortured because I was a Christian. You know, Chinese torture where they tie you up and then let one drop of water hit your head. Then a few minutes later, another drip. This going on for years. Or I'd see myself being burnt at the stake... all kinds of lovely ways to die!! And, because that was not enough fear, I would think about my kids being at home. Kidnappers would circle my kids like vultures. Houses would catch fire with them sleeping inside, lifeguards would let them drown,... You get the idea. It's a lovely way to live. I bet that is why the Bible says, " Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things."Phi 4:8

Again though, I did nothing... until God sent the agency to call me!!